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230% fat.

July 29, 2009

Because it was tucked in the back of TIME, hiding from all the celebratory prose concerning FDR, I almost missed a quite stellar gem from Bonnie Rochman about the fatty fat womens.  At first, when I stumbled onto the article’s title, “First Comes Love, then Comes Obesity?”  I thought, YES!  Someone’s going to tell it how it is.  In my head, the article would include some of this rambling:  It seems obvious that women on the average would weigh more after marriage.  First, most women force themselves to lose an ungodly amount of weight — just so they can look “perfect” on their BIG DAY.  Of course, they’re going to gain it all back.  Then, after love comes marriage. . . and pushing a baby carriage. . .DUH.  Women are the ones that get pregnant, have the baby, and all the weight and hormone changes that come with it.  And, what about the stress of being a married woman with a family and how you’re forced to eat when you get the chance, not when you want to, or not always the best food.  I’m sure that has nothing to do with weight gain either.  Not to mention that with or without kids, women’s bodies change.  Age usually adds a little weight (since we know it takes about 5 lbs to make you OBESE.)  All of this seems to be common sense.  But, not to TIME or Rochman.  Untitled

First, the stats provided: 

  • a woman’s risk of obesity increases 63% after moving in together 
  • it only takes one year for the women’s risk to increase
  • risk of obesity among men, married and unmarried, spikes only between the first and second years of living together
  • compared to dating partners, a married couple has an increased chance of 230% to be obese

They do mention the after wedding weight gain, I will admit.  The other reasons?  Well, when you get married mealtime becomes more important, aka. now that you’re married you’ll be getting those 3 squares, every day!  2nd, who needs to go the gym now that you’ve successfully caught your man/woman?  All those are okay, I guess.  But this leads right into the hysterics known as the obesity epidemic.  And, I quote:

Scientists have known for a while that having a close relationship with an obese person, whether a friend or spouse, makes you more likely to become obese.

OH MY GOD.  Seriously?????  “Scientists,” don’t you have real studies to pursue, like, I don’t know, curing AIDS, cancer, or any of the other tragic things affecting people?  Maybe because that’s actual work, instead of spreading around hearsay like (insert whispering voice) fat IS contagious, you know. . .  Tell me “scientists,” is fat contagious by touching, using the same toilet, exchange of bodily fluids, or what?  ‘Cause this will help me track down who gave this fat to me.  I so need to blame that person for all my problems.  Okay, let me continue that quote now that my rage has passed (well, kind of):

So how to break the cycle?  Perhaps by drawing inspiration from the same person who helped get you into this mess: your better half. 

The article goes on to cite a study about how a supporting spouse can lose more than the main participant in weight-loss programs if they both participate.  Oh, but just to be clear, that was one couple out of 20.  We have no idea how the rest even fared, period. 

So, this is the best you’ve got TIME?  Real pulitizer prize quality work you’ve got here.  Sigh. Try again.

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