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Thank you, protective fat.

May 31, 2009

Most people think fat is gross with a capital G.  They’d rather be dead than have extra fatty fat on their bodies.  And, I’m not going to lie…I was lead to believe this is the way I should think about fat, and myself, since I’m a fatty fat girl.  But, not now.  I couldn’t give a shit less if you think my fat makes me gross, unhealthy or unattractive.  It’s part of me, something I’ve been since I’ve been like 6, and I’d have to make being anything different a full time job.  BUT, I realized last night what a good protector my fat is.  I went to a bar with a few friends last night.  We had a great time, good food, drinks, and a table of drunk guys served as our entertainment.  Two of my friends have  what society deems the “perfect” body.  Thin, with a nice shape.  Their conventional beauty was what drew the drunk guys over to our table, brought on stares, and being oogled and HIT ON by OLD, CREEPY men.  Guess what?  No, old, creepy man hit on me.  I didn’t have to deal with slimey, skeevy, shady  men.  I just got to sit there and laugh at how weird men really are (and yes, I did feel bad for my friends, I’m not in competition with them, I think they’re awesome, wonderful people.)

But, thinking about that whole dynamic brings me to this thought.  Thank God for my fat, because I want a guy to walk up and talk to me because he thinks I’m great as is.  I want a guy who doesn’t care what society or other people think.  I want a guy who likes to be weird in a good way.  One who cares about real things, not about hitting on the hot girl because his buddies will think he’s the coolest ever.  And, if that never happens oh well, at least my chances of old, creepy men hitting on me are considerably lower than your average girl.

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